prayer

"Sitting in the presence of God for one hour each morning- day after day, week after week, and month after month, in total confusion and with a myriad of distractions- radically changes my life."  

- Henri Nouwen

"Much of the benefit of prayer comes as a result of consistency, the simple act of showing up.  For years I resisted a regular routine of prayer, believing that communication with God should be spontaneous and free.  As a result I prayed infrequently and with little satisfaction.  Eventually I learned that spontaneity often flows from discipline."

- Philip Yancey 

I have come to realize in my life that for me to make a habit of something, I need to intentionally carve out a time and place in my daily routine.  Otherwise, it just doesn't happen or it doesn't happen very consistently.  This has been especially true in having a daily prayer time.  So, for the last few weeks, the carved out space for a daily prayer time is my walk from the 1 train to my school- about a 20 minute walk.   To be honest, many times after my walk, I feel like nothing was gained- my prayers were jumbled and incoherent, I didn't hear from God, my mind was distracted.  But I keep doing it everyday- in hope that over time, my soul will gradually "settle down to a more calming rhythm" and God would use this time to radically change my life.  

mess

So, today after work I decided to go to Silver Moon and sit outside and enjoy the amazing weather.  I ordered an iced chai latte and a chocolate croissant and immediately was lost in the book I'm reading called Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.  So I'm reading about Shane's life and how is trying to make sense of authentically living out the way of Jesus- knowing that this is my deepest heart's cry too.  A few minutes later, I noticed a lady a few yards away from me on the sidewalk, calling out, "Can you give me something to eat please," every few moments to distracted New Yorkers on their way home from work.  This went on for a while as I tried to keep reading about how to live out my Christian faith.  Then she left. End of story. 

God, I'm such a mess.  Forgive my passive-ness. 

spring

The lady with the flavored ice cart on the corner of Amsterdam and 104th is back! It is really starting to feel like spring now... 

Other comforting signs that warm weather is here to stay:

- restaurants preparing for their outdoor seating

- trees in full bloom 

- street fairs

- ice cream trucks

- choosing to walk the long way home to be outside longer 

- pulling out the flip flops

I have been told that New York in the springtime is wonderful, and I have not been disappointed :)

assumptions

When I see strangers, my immediate assumption is that they are not followers of Jesus.  This is not based on their actions or words- this is just my subconscious perception of the world in which I live.  Of course, there are plenty of strangers that I pass everyday that probably are followers of Jesus, and plenty more that will be someday.  God challenged me the other day while I was sitting on the subway, taking in my surroundings, to view others as though they could be Jesus-followers now or at some point in their lives.  I think this is a way to live with Jesus' eyes for the world- seeing people as what God wants them to become and not just what they are now.  Living in New York, I often become very discouraged by the despair and hopelessness I see everyday.  This new way of seeing people is helping me to live with a renewed sense of hope- for individual lives, for this city, for our world.  

tribute

I saw this poster at a church where Michelle had her wedding shower.  

I am not ashamed to admit.. I was Carman's biggest fan back in the day... 

i love my family

I really wish I could have the best of both worlds-  living in Manhattan and living near my family. When we were growing up, my siblings and I would tell my mom that we were going to buy houses right next door to her and my dad.  So much for that plan..  This past weekend while I was visiting my parents I was reminded how incredibly blessed I am to know that my family- mom, dad, Beth, and Chris- are also my dearest of friends.