farm food

I had the privilege, thanks to the wonderfully generous mother that I babysat for this summer, to pick up her share of her "farm food" this week (since they are on vacation.)   This is a marvelous concept: individuals and families paying an annual fee to a local farm, and then receiving a share of the crops each week (during harvest season.)  This week the share was: 6 ears of corn, 1 cucumber, 6 peppers, 2 eggplants, 2 onions, 1 head of garlic, lots of tomatoes, 4 peaches, salad mix, basil, cilantro, and parsley.  What a feast!  I just had to take a picture- colorful, fresh (picked today!) delicious produce.  True beauty.  Maybe I should have been a farmer.  Did I miss my calling?!

                

Roxbury farm prints out a weekly newsletter, so I grabbed one after picking up my share.  I love their philosophy on how they take care of their farm!  Here is an exerpt:  "When we bought the farm it was all planted in corn or potatoes.  We found that almost every inch of the land had been tilled and planted to maximize its production.. The farm was treated like an object and the crops were seen as commodities.  Today the farm is treated as something that is unique; there is only one Roxbury farm and we will never be able to replicate it anywhere else in the world.  By setting goals not only to protect the soil against erosion but also increase its fertility, we have to constantly review its use.  By allowing the farm to become a living individuality we care for it like a living organism."  

I feel very ignorant in the area of farming, buying locally, communities sharing a farm and distributing the crops among themselves...  but I am so intrigued by it all!  I can't help but think that this is such a beautiful picture of enjoying and protecting creation.  Wendell Berry also has some good thoughts on this subject.. I read a collection of his essays called Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community this summer.  I highly recommend it-  while some of it was completely over my head, it made me want to learn more.  

Ultimately, this all comes down to living in the way of Jesus- and yes, the way we buy and consume our food is a spiritual matter!  It's about creatively redeeming our culture and  bringing glimpses of God's kingdom here on earth.  I'm just starting to understand all of this.. God, forgive my ignorance and reveal your Truth to me. 

Maine

Summer is coming to an end..  this is my last week of freedom before I go back to work and start grad school (!!) As always, I'm feeling a bit nervous about the new school year, but I think it's just because of the extended time off for the summer- not that I'm complaining!  But, it does make it a bit harder to transition back to a crazy schedule, when for 2 glorious months life is a little more leisurely (word?)  I also have been given a lot more responsibility in my teaching job this year-  which is great, but at the same time somewhat nerve-wracking.  

Adam and I just got back from our trip to Maine.  It was an ideal vacation- a perfect balance of "seeing the sights" along with total unabashed laziness (we prefer the term resfulness, however :) We spent 2 days in a tiny town called Belfast- right on the coast, and just an hour from Acadia National Park.  We stayed at a quaint bed and breakfast called The Jeweled Turret Inn and were served delicious gourmet breakfasts each morning by our fabulous hosts, Kathy and Carl.  Then on to Portland for 2 days, the metropolis of Maine, where Adam got his fill of bookstores (I think we went to 4) and I got my fill of ice cream..

Here are just a few highlights of our trip:

- eating a whole lobster at a lobster pound (and trying to figure out how in the world to get all the meat out) 

- seeing Bar Harbor and the clouds hovering over little islands from the top of Cadillac Mountain (at Acadia National Park) 

- watching the sunset over the harbor in Belfast

- stopping to get wild Maine blueberries at a roadside stand

- hearing the New England accent ("that will be fauty-two cents, ma'am")

-bike riding around Peak's Island 

- Adam's sea bass that was served as the whole fish (including the head) 

-room service!

- eating a popover in New Hampshire

- walking around the Back Bay area in Boston 

divine hours

I just wanted to share a resource that I have been using called The Divine Hours by Phyllis Tickle.  It is a compilation of prayers, psalms, readings, and hymns to be read throughout the day, during the "fixed hours"- morning, midday, vespers, and night.  This is an ancient tradition that actually has its origins in Judaism, but I think it's probably most commonly associated with monastic practices from the middle ages.  I am learning how much I need these routines in my life - daily rhythms that connect me to my Father.  

summer

Today is the first official day of summer for me! I have two months off from my teaching job, and as usual, I have a long list of summer projects that I have been putting off until the summer when I have more time to do them.  This is actually the first summer that I am not moving since my freshman year of college.  So, I have high hopes of getting lots of things accomplished this summer!  Beyond my "to do" list and more importantly, I plan to take some much needed Sabbaths- extended periods of time (up to an entire day) that are not simply relaxing, but bring a  restoring and renewing quality to my soul and my mind.  For me, this will require me to get out of Manhattan, so I plan to do some day trips up the Hudson river and maybe even take the LIRR out to Long Island a few times.  I also desperately want to continue my daily routines of connecting with God- but I know this will be much harder,  since my life this summer will not have a regular rhythm and pattern.  But I realize more than ever before how much I need those daily "spaces" with God- and so whatever I'm doing this summer, I need and want to be carving out that much needed space to spend with Him.   

 

grandaddy

Grandaddy died one week ago today.  In honor of his life, here are some of my cherished memories I have of my grandfather. 

-riding in the wagon with him pulling us with his riding lawn mower

- taking us to the driving range to hit golf balls

- showing us how to shoot a BB gun

- remembering little details of my life (which is pretty impressive considering he had 15 grandchildren)

- his famous barbeque chicken 

- his golfing hat and teal-colored pants 

and the final memory I have is watching a group of marines perform a 21 gun salute at my grandfather's grave site to honor his 30 year service in the marine corps.  

personal salvation?

I've been hearing a lot lately about the idea of forsaking the "personal salvation" gospel in favor of the gospel seems to paint a more biblical picture: Jesus came in love to save the world. He created the church to help him with this mission, and he invites me to become a part of the church to experience and participate in his love.  

Brian McLaren makes some interesting points in his book Generous Orthodoxy about the dangers of "personal salvation" gospel:

- Salvation becomes all about me, how to meet my needs, and is marketed as such. This makes it appealing to people on the basis of self-interest instead of self-sacrifice.

- It "poses a temptation to want heaven more than I want good- to want escape from hell more than I want true reconciliation for my neighbors" 

- It "emphasizes life after death that it ultimately trivializes life before death"

Interestingly enough, the idea of "personal salvation" arose out of a need for people to make a personal commitment to Christ instead of just considering themselves Christians on the basis of their culture (German, Dutch, American, etc.).  So, it's not that making a personal commitment is a bad thing (it's essential!), it's the mindset that comes out of thinking of Christianity as a very individualistic thing instead of the original intent: authentic communities of people embracing Jesus' mission of saving the world. 

As always, what I am ultimately wrestling with here is how to live in the way of Jesus.  I want to have Jesus' heart for the world- to live each moment in the Present and in the awareness of the presence of God.   

sis

My sister left yesterday- she had been staying with us in New York for the past month, taking a TESOL certification class.  I can't really explain the depth of our relationship or the love we have for each other, but it's a beautiful thing :)  Needless to say, I enjoyed every minute of her stay. 

run

I participated in my first official run on Saturday.  It was a 4 mile run through the inner loop of Central Park.  I have never been much of a runner, but over the past few months, I have started to really enjoy it!   I am now beginning to understand what Eric Liddell (the famous Olympic runner) meant when he said, "When I run, I feel His pleasure." There is nothing like running through a beautiful park, breathing deeply, and taking in the beauty of creation.  I don't know that I'll ever be a marathon runner, but we'll see where this new past time takes me! 

New York

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter- the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night.  Third, there is New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something.  Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion." 

by E. B. White

from "Here is New York" (1948)

I saw this quote on a bus the other day- just an interesting tidbit to think about... 

Pisticci

Discovered a great restaurant last night! Pisticci, on LaSalle and Broadway (2 blocks south of 125th St.) is a great little Italian cafe with amazing atmosphere, very affordable prices, and pretty decent food too.  

Then went to Artopolis to satisfy that second compartment in our stomachs which had plenty of room for a little something sweet. 

Simple pleasures in life: enjoying friends, good conversations, a glass of wine (or two), and Artopolis nutella and strawberry crepes.  

prayer

"Sitting in the presence of God for one hour each morning- day after day, week after week, and month after month, in total confusion and with a myriad of distractions- radically changes my life."  

- Henri Nouwen

"Much of the benefit of prayer comes as a result of consistency, the simple act of showing up.  For years I resisted a regular routine of prayer, believing that communication with God should be spontaneous and free.  As a result I prayed infrequently and with little satisfaction.  Eventually I learned that spontaneity often flows from discipline."

- Philip Yancey 

I have come to realize in my life that for me to make a habit of something, I need to intentionally carve out a time and place in my daily routine.  Otherwise, it just doesn't happen or it doesn't happen very consistently.  This has been especially true in having a daily prayer time.  So, for the last few weeks, the carved out space for a daily prayer time is my walk from the 1 train to my school- about a 20 minute walk.   To be honest, many times after my walk, I feel like nothing was gained- my prayers were jumbled and incoherent, I didn't hear from God, my mind was distracted.  But I keep doing it everyday- in hope that over time, my soul will gradually "settle down to a more calming rhythm" and God would use this time to radically change my life.  

mess

So, today after work I decided to go to Silver Moon and sit outside and enjoy the amazing weather.  I ordered an iced chai latte and a chocolate croissant and immediately was lost in the book I'm reading called Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.  So I'm reading about Shane's life and how is trying to make sense of authentically living out the way of Jesus- knowing that this is my deepest heart's cry too.  A few minutes later, I noticed a lady a few yards away from me on the sidewalk, calling out, "Can you give me something to eat please," every few moments to distracted New Yorkers on their way home from work.  This went on for a while as I tried to keep reading about how to live out my Christian faith.  Then she left. End of story. 

God, I'm such a mess.  Forgive my passive-ness. 

spring

The lady with the flavored ice cart on the corner of Amsterdam and 104th is back! It is really starting to feel like spring now... 

Other comforting signs that warm weather is here to stay:

- restaurants preparing for their outdoor seating

- trees in full bloom 

- street fairs

- ice cream trucks

- choosing to walk the long way home to be outside longer 

- pulling out the flip flops

I have been told that New York in the springtime is wonderful, and I have not been disappointed :)

assumptions

When I see strangers, my immediate assumption is that they are not followers of Jesus.  This is not based on their actions or words- this is just my subconscious perception of the world in which I live.  Of course, there are plenty of strangers that I pass everyday that probably are followers of Jesus, and plenty more that will be someday.  God challenged me the other day while I was sitting on the subway, taking in my surroundings, to view others as though they could be Jesus-followers now or at some point in their lives.  I think this is a way to live with Jesus' eyes for the world- seeing people as what God wants them to become and not just what they are now.  Living in New York, I often become very discouraged by the despair and hopelessness I see everyday.  This new way of seeing people is helping me to live with a renewed sense of hope- for individual lives, for this city, for our world.  

tribute

I saw this poster at a church where Michelle had her wedding shower.  

I am not ashamed to admit.. I was Carman's biggest fan back in the day... 

i love my family

I really wish I could have the best of both worlds-  living in Manhattan and living near my family. When we were growing up, my siblings and I would tell my mom that we were going to buy houses right next door to her and my dad.  So much for that plan..  This past weekend while I was visiting my parents I was reminded how incredibly blessed I am to know that my family- mom, dad, Beth, and Chris- are also my dearest of friends.  

my hometown

High Point, NC is my hometown. Sometimes I catch myself referring to it as "home," but then I remember that Adam is my home now- so where ever we are together- that is home :)  Anyway, I love living in Manhattan.  I have gained such a new perspective of life just from living here for a little over 9 months. I love the diversity- thousands of different cultures living together to form one big city.  I love trying out new restaurants and new types of foods, exploring new neighborhoods in the city, and meeting new people.  I am incredibly thankful for the community of people we have gotten to know- they are like family to us.  

But there are a few things I miss about living in small southern town, USA.  I am in High Point for a long weekend - visiting my parents and meeting my brother's girlfriend Fiona for the first time and going to my best friend's wedding shower.  And being here has reminded me of these wonderful things that I just can't experience in the great city of New York. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Chick-fil-A

2. sweet tea

3. friendly cashiers at grocery stores

4. driving on a 2-lane road on a sunny day with my favorite music playing

5. a convenient Target

6. back decks and front porches

7. Graham Central Station ice cream from Bruster's (my all-time favorite flavor)

8. a dark sky with bright stars

.. I'll add more as I think of them.. 

living deeply

 Lately, I have been living deeply... seeing the beauty in people on the subway... feeling overwhelmed by Jesus' love... crying over the lost... rejoicing in a new day...

Right now it can only be called a "phase" but I am hoping that it becomes a habit, and then a lifestyle.  I must say that it is much easier to just skim the surface of life- to live in my own world, allow trivial things to become my focus, oblivious to the needs of others around me.  It is hard work to live deliberately and purposefully.   It sometimes requires me to sacrifice my comfort.  And I know that I won't always "feel" like making the effort.  But I desperately want to live in the way of Jesus because I know that His is the better way.  God, help me to live deeply. 

new blog

I have been absent from the blogging world for a while now, and I think I'm ready to dive back in...   you can view my old online journal here.  Due to some technical difficulties, my website is not up and running yet, so I decided to give blogger.com a try.  Instead of trying to sum up my life from my last post to now (which I just realized was over 6 months), I will just start with today. 

Today is Good Friday.  I must admit that over the past few years, the season of Easter always comes and goes and I realize after it's all over that I barely took the time to contemplate Jesus' sacrifice and the enormous impact it has had for the entire world.  This year has been different.  A few days ago, sitting alone in a coffee shop, I became completely overwhelmed by Jesus' death and resurrection.  St. Augustine's words tore my heart open. 

"The maker of man was made man, that the Ruler of the stars might suck at the breast; that the Bread might be hungered; the Fountain, thirst; the Light, sleep; the Way, be wearied by the journey; the Truth, be accused by false witness; the Judge of the living and the dead, be judged by a mortal judge; the Chastener, be chastened with whips; the Vine, be crowned with thorns; the Foundation, be hung upon the tree; Strength, be made weak; Health, be wounded; life, die."

I was broken.  I was undone.  My soul began weep for the lost who are trying to navigate this messy world without the hope of a loving Savior.  I started to look around - really look at people- and hurt for them, long for them to know the hope of Jesus.  

So, today I mourn my Lord's death.  I mourn the fact that sin had to enter the world and create such a mess,  that God had to devise a plan to sacrifice his own Son.  I know the story doesn't end with this, but today is a day of sadness and grief over our broken world.